going against all odds.
thats what this video is about.
i dont know why the fuck is related to shampoo.
i dont see any link.

your self- conscious. my numbered days.
hopefully this friday i will be able to see you. take care everyone.

almost a week passed, time really flies.
what have i been doing i asked myself this very moment.
waiting for you? procuring for the best to come?
since last thursday after that call, i felt like crying.
the feeling isn't like crying over spilled milk but it resembles partially of it.
i didn't cry but it's so difficult to put myself to sleep that night.
i'm so afraid to you neglecting my existence.
maybe i'm thinking too much.

by the way, i went to a&e saturday night again.
my health haven't been so good these days.
my stomach was in such chaotic pain. those sharp pains that come and go.
as if i'm having the monthly thing and the cramps just make me cuddle myself up.
maybe i'm leaving the world soon.
my days are really numbered.

thought of what i will be doing after the 2 years 'probation'.
so many things came to my mind.
i don't know if i want to continue my education.
by the time, i'm out i will already be 22.
ageing isn't one of the major circumstance.
mugging on books and dry topics like business is the main thing.
forcing just myself to get that fucking bachelor's degree.
thoughts roamed randomly before i go to bed.
it's been like so hard to fall deep asleep.
i only wished i could just sleep beside you and never wake up.

then next my ambition came to my mind. repetition of thoughts to say.
of course everyone long wished to have a good job which pays high.
i have the thought of flying, but i just cannot fucking swimming.
how to even evacuate and rescue the passengers when i'm drowning myself in an emergency to come.
i don't know. i got really no idea.
anyway if i'm rich, i don't mind backpacking the whole of my life.
in reality, there's really the margin being drawn between us and the really poor and needy ones.
going to third world countries. i like helping people and giving them a hand.
this has to be put aside first till i got capital to do all these.

enough of all these.
i guessed this is part of life that everyone has to encounter.
take care everyone, hugs..

pardon me for all the whining but sudden muses just come to my mind and conjure certain issues regarding life. too think about that i am not very matured. but to think about it on the other hand, i already started to plan my life after my studies and national service.

i don't really know what's wrong with me these days also.
i muse days over days, nights over nights, literally insomnia happens out of my utmost concerns.
i don't know that i did the correct thing. i analysed issues over and over.
once bitter, twice shy- that's the metaphor saying.
well, this is life.

coming back to reality, i know this guy.
we have been talking for days.
i don't know if i'm ready for it.
the thought of being thoughtful to others and being fair to him came to my mind.
national service- that's a reason why i pulled a handbrake to this issue for the time being.
i don't know why. i haven't even see you in reality.
but it was really heart- warming and sweet, well what better can i expect and ask for from you.
you actually called me before you fly.
maybe i don't deserve that much.
my confidence level dropped so much nowadays.
being in this circle is complicated trust me friends and people out there reading this.

well, enough of my thoughts.
i just wanted to jolt down something here in the case where this place may occur to be an white elephant in time to come.
september is coming...

take care everyone, hugs

that day is coming real soon.
i hate this feeling.
who knows.
i wont even want to count down to that doomsday.
something like that have to be settled quickly with a real blast.
i just want it to be soon over.

have been roaming around town these days and parties parties parties.
have to curb on my expenses.
curb on clubbings, drinks, cabbing thru and forth for no reasons, etc etc etc.
my card bill busted last month.
i will go dig out the bill and post for viewing.


saw this really cute guy. he looked the most less than 25.
he was pushing a pram with a baby in it.
he was really very charming lo.
he looked aj and he had that really hardcore clubber look.
his dressing sense was damn great.
even bff was very interested in giving him attention.
but when we saw his wife, one word 'cui'.
well, it's not about us being bad or something.
i strongly believed in this one word- Karma
karma in simple words meaning one's action/ doings will results in the same destiny.
wow, sound so chim.

so sad, i have been single for long.
but i'm not available okay..
i guessed i really deserve someone better.

ok ok enough of craps.
set all these aside.
let me show u my latest obsession:



























































a freaking 150pounds (400+ sgd) for this pair of canvas.
but i saw the real thing.
damn nice.
should i get it??

well guessed enough of my rattlings.
take care everyone, hugs <3>

it's been quite awhile since i have touched this and updated a single entry.
many things have passed, and just flew through my life part and puzzle, here and there.
remorseful ones, happy ones, damn pissed with it ones, etc etc etc.

a few more days and the calendar will soon to be flipped to the month of august.
i can feel the dreadful amount of money left in myself.
hopefully i can survive.

okay drop all the sad memories.
hopefully i have something more interesting to update in my next entry before i drive you all away from my blog.

take care everyone, hugs..

I SMELL JULY!!!

what i liked about july is that is my bday month and BFF's too.
what i disliked about this july is that people have been boasting they have 200 bucks from the government which i dont. :(
here's some brilliant suggestions that i have come out with that u all can get for me:





















i dont mind hongbaos. nowadays theres nothing that is nice here in sg.







heres another alternative, i dont mind capitamall cash vouchers.
IONOrchard is part of capitamall fyi. :)




























i know this is rather impossible, an E71.
so nice right!!! it retails at 600SGD w/o contract.




























AHHHHH!!!! CANON IXUS 100
i dont mind the chio red or the gold one.
the chio red totally suits me lo!!
it retails 469SGD

resolution for this year's bday: hopefully that someone is free and would celebrate for me!!

BFF's list still in pending order!!


take care everyone, hugs <3

all thanks to someone, this song really really got stucked in my mind the whole day

F**k you (f**k you)
F**k you very very much
Cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch
F**k you (f**k you)
F**k you very very much
Cause your words don't translate and its getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

ummm, it's friday tomorrow. going to hang out with BFF and jolene dear tmr.
it's been 3 weeks (tentative) if i dont club this week.
it's DANGEROUS!!! H1N1 is out there. i dont want to be quarantined.
oh well, it really all depends.

take care everyone, hugs<3
esp. the coughing ones, drink plenty of water and turn in early..

today is 21st june.
whats happening to a month's time????
LOLOLOLLLLOL.
(BFF's one also coming!!!)
wait for my wishlist to appear in a few days time okay.
flu till i sneeze out all my juices of intelligence.
and i didnt club for two consecutive weeks. what an achievement right??

take care everyone, hugs <3